When Our Stress Becomes Theirs

Our cat Patty has been under the weather the past three weeks.  At our initial visit, she was diagnosed with a urinary infection and given antibiotics.  In the urine sample tested that day, our vet saw excess glucose and was concerned about the onset of diabetes so he wanted to do bloodwork.  We took her back the following week; she no longer exhibited any urinary issues after taking the antibiotic.  Her blood was drawn and tested; no issues.  In passing, the vet did mention if her urinary issues came back that she might need to go on a calming food for stress.  Patty has been one of the most "chill" cats we've owned so the thought of her being stressed seemed ridiculous.  

A week after her bloodwork, we were back at the vet.  She had to stay for a few hours so they could do a battery of tests. Patty developed urinary crystals; these crystals are like shards of glass that she was trying to pass when she peed, thus, the blood in her urine and discomfort.  She is on another round of antibiotics, calming food to reduce stress on her system, and gabapentin for further calming temporarily so she can heal. 

We often think of stress as something contained within our own minds and bodies—an invisible weight we carry through busy days and restless nights. But for those of us who share our lives with cats, that weight doesn’t always stay with us.  

Cats are exquisitely sensitive creatures. They read the room in ways we barely notice: a change in tone, a disruption in routine, a tension in our movements. When we’re overwhelmed, anxious, or emotionally stretched thin, our cats can feel that shift. What we experience internally can ripple outward, quietly shaping their sense of safety and calm.

A stressed human can unintentionally create a stressed home. Missed playtime, irregular schedules, sharper voices, or simply a heavy emotional atmosphere can leave cats feeling uncertain. Some respond by hiding more, grooming excessively, becoming clingy, or acting out in ways that seem confusing at first. These behaviors aren’t defiance or “bad habits”—they’re communication.  Patty sensed my not feeling well due to water and dust issues at my Columbus office.

The comforting truth is that this sensitivity works both ways. Just as our stress can affect our cats, our efforts to slow down, breathe, and create small moments of calm can help them, too. Sitting quietly together. One of the things that usually calms me is sitting down at the end of a long day and having Patty curl up in my lap.  Keeping routines gentle and predictable. Offering affection without expectation. Even caring for our own mental well-being can be an act of care for them.

Our cats don’t need us to be perfect or perpetually calm. They simply need us to be aware. In recognizing that our emotional lives are shared more than we realize, we’re reminded that healing and gentleness often begin at home—with ourselves, and with the animals who trust us most.

Patty's illness as a result of our stress was an expensive and eye-opening lesson for Jon and I.  Perhaps it was a lesson all of us needed to take better care of ourselves.

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