Love Thy Neighbor: Finding Common Ground When Neighborhood Concerns Collide

 "Love your neighbor as yourself" sounds simple enough until you're dealing with real-life neighborhood challenges.

Recently, I've been thinking about situations where neighbors have very different concerns, but both believe they're looking out for what's best.

Take, for example, a street where an "Autistic Child in Area" sign has been posted. For the family, the sign serves as an important reminder that their child may wander, hide, or react differently to situations. Safety is always on their minds.

At the same time, another neighbor may own a large truck, van, or work vehicle that's legally parked on the street. To them, it's simply where they park their vehicle after a long day. They may not realize that large vehicles can create blind spots or hiding places that make some parents nervous.

Then tensions start to build.  Am I being disrespectful parking a vehicle on the street?  Is our family the next police visit? Admittedly, I know very little about autism but have been curious since the signs appeared on our street in the last couple of weeks.  The police calls started after the signs went up so I searched online to see if there is something we should have been told as residents about parking on our street.  That's how I learned about autistic children possibly viewing a large truck or SUV as a hiding spot.  

One neighbor worries about safety. Another feels targeted because of where they're parking. Someone gets frustrated. Someone calls the police. Feelings get hurt, and before long, people stop talking to each other and start talking about each other.

The thing is, most people aren't trying to be bad neighbors.

Parents of autistic children aren't trying to control the whole street. They're trying to protect a child they love.  As a mom, I understand and respect that.

Vehicle owners aren't usually trying to make life difficult for anyone. They're parking where they believe they're allowed to park.

When we stop and look at the situation that way, it becomes easier to see that everyone is carrying a valid concern.

What if, instead of immediately calling the police or assuming the worst, neighbors started with a conversation?

What if the parents explained why the vehicles make them anxious?

What if the vehicle owner listened and looked for small compromises that might help?  

What if everyone approached the situation with the goal of solving a problem together instead of winning an argument?

Not every concern has a perfect solution, but most neighborhoods work better when people talk with one another rather than about one another.

Being a good neighbor doesn't mean always getting your way. It doesn't mean giving up your rights, either. It means recognizing that the people living around you have challenges, worries, and needs that may be different from your own.

Sometimes love looks like patience.

Sometimes it looks like listening.

Sometimes it looks like moving a vehicle a few feet when you can.

Sometimes it looks like understanding that a family is carrying concerns you may never fully experience yourself.

The older I get, the more I realize that strong neighborhoods aren't built because everyone agrees. They're built because people choose respect even when they don't.

Maybe that's what loving our neighbors really looks like. Not demanding that everyone see things our way, but caring enough to see things from their perspective, too.

After all, we're all sharing the same street.

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